What Have I Become????

Today is a no school day for me.  Since my house is in pretty decent shape, and the laundry is rolling (and never-ending anyway) I put Bryson down for a nap and decided to take a shower.  Usually I will use that time to do other much-needed things around the house and shower when Trent or the kids get home to keep an eye on Bryson.  But today was different.  I took a shower, put on some jeans and an old T-Shirt, and actually put on a little bit of make up since I still had time.  There.  Good enough.  I feel better. 

When the girls got home from school, Kristen says to me, "What did you have to do today?  You didn't have school!"  I agreed that I didn't have school and only picked up the house, took care of and played with Bryson, and did some laundry today.  She then said, "Well, I was just wondering because you got dressed.  You never do that unless you have school or something important to do!  Usually we come home and you're still in your pajamas with crazy hair!"  (And, might I add, day-before makeup.)  EPIPHANY!!!!!!!  She's right!!!!!  OMG!!  I have turned into the FRUMPY HOUSEWIFE!!

Now, since I can remember my mother always taught me that you don't leave the house without looking nice no matter what because you never know who you may run into or what may happen while you're out.  And my mother lived by that.  I don't ever remember a day when my mother ever just looked a mess.  And still today, at 62, my mother is always dressed to impress, hair and make up done perfectly, and decked out with lots of bling.  In fact the first time Trent met her he said, "NOW I see where you get it from!"  Well, of course that was when Trent and I were just dating.  Oh, how things have changed.  My husband married his Trophy Wife:

And ended up with a Frumpy Housewife!

Way to reel him in, Priscilla!!  Good Work!

So I have to think to myself, "HOW DID I LET THIS HAPPEN?"  I always thought that I would be the pretty, hip, stylish Mama who's kids and husband were proud to show her off.  I used to be that Mama.  But since getting pregnant with Bryson and staying home I am no longer that Mama.  When I take a shower Trent will jokingly say, "What's the occasion, babe?"  And he calls my baby snot-stained, stretched out pajamas my "uniform."   I knew I had let myself go a little bit, but I guess I just didn't realize how much until a child brought it to my attention.  It was a big wake up call.  Kids are brutally honest.

Of course that raised many questions in my head.  Why have I done this to myself?  How did I let myself get this bad?  When did I decide not to care about myself anymore?  I realize that I have a big job of raising six kids and a husband.  And my mentality is that I need to take care of all of them, and make sure that all of their needs are met.  My needs have just been moved to the back burner.  Not purposely, it just sort of happened.  I'll go a month or two without even shaving my legs just so that I can cut down my time in the shower!  I've got other things to do.  I can wear pants.  But why do I feel this way?  I'm important!  I shouldn't walk around looking like Harry and the Henderson's wife just so everyone else can be taken care of.  That's not fair to me or to my family. 

Four years ago I was skinny, I worked out, I tanned, my hair was awesome, and I always had my nails done and a pedicue.  It was like second nature.  I didn't even think about it.  It was just part of my routine.  I took care of myself.  But NOW...I need to lose 30 lbs, my work out consists of going up and down the stairs to do laundry, I have pasty white skin, frizzy hair if I don't fix it, man hands, and heels you could sand an entire dresser with if you wanted to refinish it.  Yep, that's me.  WOW!  It really sounds even worse than I thought now that I see it in type.

My poor husband used to come home to his sexy wife and now he comes home to a frazzled, dirty, rusty, fat Mama.  That must suck for him.  In fact, I know it does.  He makes jokes all the time.  I know he's only teasing me but the reality is there's some truth in there.

Well, this has to stop.  No, I don't need or want to be a Jersey Housewife.  But I DO want to make myself one of my priorities.  I need to make myself a monthly bill on my long list in my binder.  I need to feel good about myself and not just be an embarrassment to my family.  I'm not me anymore.  Priscilla would have never let herself get to this point.  By taking care of myself I will be a better mother and wife.  And we all know "If Mama Aint Happy, Aint Nobody Happy!"

So I also challenge all of you moms who read this:  Take care of yourself.  Make YOU a priority before you get to the point that I have reached.  Who I have become is actually a little depressing.  We, as mothers, deserve to feel good about ourselves.

My mission is to get out of my slump.  To start working out, and get myself ready everyday.  To fix my hair, dress to impress (in a comfy-house cleaning way,) maybe even get my nails done! To make ME a priority.  Hopefully it'll work out!